The Art Of Orgasm – How To Have Better Orgasms

For some of us, orgasms are like those sneaky, elusive unicorns. A mystical fantasy. So in saying that what exactly is it that influences our capacity to orgasm? And how can we change and better our surroundings to increase our chances to achieve that ultimate state of ecstasy? Achieving an orgasm during sex is complicated. Men need to understand a woman’s body in order to help her achieve an orgasm. But this is an art that we can all learn whether it be male or female.

If men go into sex with an egotistic mindset and just want to “blow” then the likely outcome is the female will most definitely fake her orgasm. Sorry guys, if you’re sexually active then I can confidently say you have experienced a fake orgasm – at least once in your life. And if you’re really unlucky, maybe even multiple times…. and if your female sex partner is saying she has never faked an orgasm, chances are she’s lying. So why is it exactly that make a woman fake an orgasm? Well basically its simple – because some men don’t understand the complexity of the female body and fail to see the signs that can be put right there in front of him.

Feminine sexuality is represented by water and masculinity is by fire. Fire is forceful, intense, quick to start and to finish much like the male orgasm in a way. Whereas water takes time to heat up much like a woman. Guys please never just stick the penis in and expect good results. A female needs to be aroused. This is where foreplay plays a very important step – NEVER EVER SKIP THIS STEP (subtle enough hint there?). From little things like kissing the neck or breasts, maybe a sensual body massage to a more complex thing like touching the clitoris (remember guys it’s not like it’s your last meal – go gentle!) to oral sex. The possibilities in foreplay are endless and in the end you are in control of how far the boundaries may go – maybe just maybe she likes to be man handled and sexually choked?

When it comes to the female orgasm these can be put into 2 categories: clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. The most common way to achieve orgasm is by sexual stimulation of the clitoris. And statistics show that up to 80% of the female population require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. This includes consistent manual, oral or other concentrated friction against the external parts of the clitoris.

What if the mind starts rambling away during sex? We get it. Life is stressful: your job, social interactions, the kids even that traffic jam you got stuck in this morning. The mind is a complicated thing that tends to reflect endlessly, even before and during sex. But never fear! There are ways to help trick the mind in order to help you let go and enjoy the moment.

Set up the right environment – our mood, thoughts and energy are heavily influenced by our environment. Our sensorial stimuli. You can help control this. Dim those lights, play that sexy music, wear that sensual perfume. You will find you will instantly relax.
Talk smooth – asking them if the bins been emptied in your huskiest, sexiest voice is not what we mean either. The power of words is very real. Talk sweet, talk sexy!
Change your environment occasionally – sex needs to be fun and interesting. Take it out of the bed sometimes. Sex is fun in other places (that suit you of course) even in other positions. Maybe a fancy hotel room? Explore!!
Train your brain to let it go! Easier said than done, yes I know… But even when you aren’t preparing yourself for sex, you actually really are! This takes time and discipline to be able to teach your brain to stop that rambling. Maybe try to meditate, listen to music, even exercise!
Bonus bizarre tip – shower before sex… you’re probably thinking what? surely not? But it works. When you shower it can help send a signal to the brain that you are essentially washing away everything that happened throughout the day, all that fatigue, all those emotions from the day. You are also literally washing the crap away, the dust, that handshake, the smells….. ready for a fresh start for another (more sexy) part of the day!

We all have so many things to learn when it comes to sex, our bodies and orgasms but that in itself is all part of the fun. The pleasure in sex is really only as good as you make it. Now is the moment!

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